Motherhood can be tough. There is no two ways about it.
There are times when we all feel pushed to our limits and it doesn’t seem like we can take any more.
- Somedays there are just too many demands to cope with and so little thanks.
- Sometimes we are just too tired for anything much to feel okay.
- There are moments when dealing with another tantrum or bout of crying (depending on their age) is more than we can manage and guess what? Another one is fast approaching.
- Somedays we are ill and all we need is to be left alone but the demands keep coming.
- Sometimes we just don’t feel effective. Either they are upset, ill, teething or have nothing we can identify that is wrong but not one thing we do seems to make a difference.
- There are days when we have to watch them suffer and our hearts break.
I am sure all of us can name many circumstances that have pushed to our limits as a mother and in these times it is so easy to feel that we have failed or we are just not good enough.
There are plenty of occasions when all I have wanted to do was cry, when I felt I was just not enough.
So what can we do to cope in those times?
1. Allow yourself to go off and have that cry or scream into a pillow
Stepping away and allowing our emotions to come out doesn’t mean we have failed, in fact, it means the opposite. We are handling our emotions by not letting them control us. We are taking charge.
(Distress or anger becomes a problem when we ignore it because then we are prone to snap at a time not of our choosing and in a manor not of our choosing)
Once we have released our feelings, more often than not, we get back to feeling ourselves sooner than we could have imagined before.
If you have a baby or toddler make sure they are in a safe place before you do this
2. Be kind to yourself
Understand that it is tough being a mum and you are truly not alone in finding it challenging. We all have our dark moments when we wonder what on earth has happened to our lives. What ever ‘being kind to yourself’ means to you, do it. Even the smallest of things can help.
3. Don’t blame yourself or put yourself down
You are doing your best. Watch that internal dialogue that whispers (or shouts) things like ‘You are no good’ or ‘Everyone else does better than you’. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t accept it for yourself.
4. Find someone to talk to
There is nothing better than finding other women in the same situation and venting the challenges of motherhood. Likewise, it is great to hear the difficulties that others are experiencing as we truly understand that we are not alone.
5. If it is a repeating problem, then question it?
Many problems we face with our children are of the time. Maybe it is tiredness (for us or them), teething or an illness. However, if it is an issue that repeats itself over and over then examine it.
Is there something you could do differently?
For example, one of my sons found dinner time very stressful. I was tired by then and so was he. This combination meant it was rarely a pleasant experience for either of us. So I began experimenting. I stopped meal times being about food and made it about fun. We sang songs, did rhymes and played little games all which we interspersed with little bits of food. It didn’t take all the issues away but it certainly improved things.
Or do you need more help?
Sometimes the challenges of motherhood are helped by some outside input; either advice or support. We are not meant to do it all alone and it certainly is not a self sufficiency contest. So if there is some way of taking the pressure off then see if it is possible.
I hope this post helps in those tough moments. I would love to hear if you have any thoughts on this topic or if you have other tips that have helped you get through .
So what is next?
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