5 Ways To Deal With The Stress Of Motherhood

rp_cWWrSK1433444101-300x169.jpgMotherhood can be tough. There is no two ways about it.

There are times when we all feel pushed to our limits and it doesn’t seem like we can take any more.

  • Somedays there are just too many demands to cope with and so little thanks.
  • Sometimes we are just too tired for anything much to feel okay.
  • There are moments when dealing with another tantrum or bout of crying (depending on their age) is more than we can manage and guess what? Another one is fast approaching.
  • Somedays we are ill and all we need is to be left alone but the demands keep coming.
  • Sometimes we just don’t feel effective. Either they are upset, ill, teething or have nothing we can identify that is wrong but not one thing we do seems to make a difference.
  • There are days when we have to watch them suffer and our hearts break.
There are times when as parents we can feel pushed to our limits. Click To Tweet

I am sure all of us can name many circumstances that have pushed to our limits as a mother and in these times it is so easy to feel that we have failed or we are just not good enough.

There are plenty of occasions when all I have wanted to do was cry, when I felt I was just not enough.

So what can we do to cope in those times?

1. Allow yourself to go off and have that cry or scream into a pillow

Stepping away and allowing our emotions to come out doesn’t mean we have failed, in fact, it means the opposite. We are handling our emotions by not letting them control us. We are taking charge.

(Distress or anger becomes a problem when we ignore it because then we are prone to snap at a time not of our choosing and in a manor not of our choosing)

Once we have released our feelings, more often than not, we get back to feeling ourselves sooner than we could have imagined before.

If you have a baby or toddler make sure they are in a safe place before you do this

2. Be kind to yourself

Understand that it is tough being a mum and you are truly not alone in finding it challenging. We all have our dark moments when we wonder what on earth has happened to our lives. What ever ‘being kind to yourself’ means to you, do it. Even the smallest of things can help.

3. Don’t blame yourself or put yourself down

You are doing your best. Watch that internal dialogue that whispers (or shouts) things like ‘You are no good’ or ‘Everyone else does better than you’. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend, don’t accept it for yourself.

4. Find someone to talk to

There is nothing better than finding other women in the same situation and venting the challenges of motherhood. Likewise, it is great to hear the difficulties that others are experiencing as we truly understand that we are not alone.

5. If it is a repeating problem, then question it?

Many problems we face with our children are of the time. Maybe it is tiredness (for us or them), teething or an illness. However, if it is an issue that repeats itself over and over then examine it.

Is there something you could do differently?

For example, one of my sons found dinner time very stressful. I was tired by then and so was he. This combination meant it was rarely a pleasant experience for either of us. So I began experimenting. I stopped meal times being about food and made it about fun. We sang songs, did rhymes and played little games all which we interspersed with little bits of food. It didn’t take all the issues away but it certainly improved things.

Or do you need more help?

Sometimes the challenges of motherhood are helped by some outside input; either advice or support. We are not meant to do it all alone and it certainly is not a self sufficiency contest. So if there is some way of taking the pressure off then see if it is possible.

I hope this post helps in those tough moments. I would love to hear if you have any thoughts on this topic or if you have other tips that have helped you get through .

So what is next?

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34 thoughts on “5 Ways To Deal With The Stress Of Motherhood

  1. These are all great tips, thank you! I particularly like ‘be kind to yourself’. If a friend was feeling stressed, we say all the right, kind, things- but when we’re stressed ourselves, we don’t take our own advice.

    I’d also add ‘keep your sense of humour’. Take a step back from your child’s double-fisted, punching the floor tantrum and see it as something comical that you’ll laugh with them about when they’re teenagers.

    x
    Mummy Muddler recently posted…What the books don’t tell you about childbirthMy Profile

    1. Thanks for your comment Suzanne. I personally found that reassessing was and still is something I do all the time. Children change so fast and reviewing what isn’t working, helps.

  2. These are good solid tips. I would also add – don’t bother with parenting ‘manuals’! The books / blogs I read now are more informing and supporting my desire to be instinctual in my parenting rather than instructional. I try to practice yoga, meditation or running when I can, as I find it releases stress and helps me to stay true to those instincts. It’s so easy to get carried along by comparisons and self-doubt – find something that helps you to stay true to yourself and your family! x
    Anna recently posted…A visit to Yorkshire Lavender.My Profile

    1. Thanks for that Anna. Your comments are really useful. I think that, like you said, finding ways to bolster ourselves and nourish the people we are ultimately helps us when under pressure, no matter what it is we are facing.

    1. Time for yourself is a great form of prevention. It acts like a pressure valve and reconnects ourselves with ourselves. Thanks for your comment.

    1. Hi Fionnuala. Tough days with kids can be so challenging. I hope you have a better day today and be kind to you. Thanks for your comment.

  3. Great tips! So important to be kind to ourselves. I find counting good. Or sort of giving myself a running commentary pep talk sometimes! And being realistic e.g. telling myself that it will take 3 time of asking big girl to put her shoes on before she does it.
    #thelist

    1. Thank you very much for your compliments and also your comments/tweets are really noticed and appreciated.

  4. Love these tips, juggling being a Mum to a 5 year old and the tiredness of pregnancy can really get me down some days, I thought as I’d got him past toddlerhood and into school it might be easier, but whilst I don’t have to contend with the tantrums of pre-schoolers, there are still shed loads of demands to keep up with – not least of all the daily school run when I’d rather be taking a nap!
    #MummyMonday
    Ashleigh Lawrence-Rye recently posted…Parenting Hack: Tidy Flat Treasure HuntMy Profile

    1. Hi Ashleigh, It is tough being pregnant and having a child. I remember. Glad you liked the tips. Be super kind to yourself and acknowledge how much you are dealing with.

    1. I feel for you, I remember those days. Teething is not fun. Best of luck for tonight. Thanks for your comment.

    1. Thanks for your comment. I agree with you. Being responsible for our emotions is an important part of motherhood.

    1. It is true we all do yet it is so easy to feel alone with it all as we don’t often talk about the really tough days. Thanks for your comment.

    1. Thanks Sarah. It is amazing the impact of sharing in an unconditional environment. The saying ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’ has so much truth to it. Glad to hear you have those relationships.

  5. This is a really important post for all mums to read. It is so easy to believe that as a mum you have to be perfect all the time. But it is essential that sometimes we need to put ourselves first. I think it is particularly important to have mummy friends, to not compare yourself to other mums and also to look after yourself. I am always telling my friends to be kind to themselves. I am just not so good at practising what I preach. Hugs Mrs H xxxx
    Mrs H recently posted…Mrs H’s week in pictures #1My Profile

    1. You are so right. It is much easier to preach something than to practice it ourselves. With experience I have become kinder to myself an that has helped. Thanks very much for your comment.

  6. Fantastic tips to help a stressed out mommy. I could use a few of these tips myself for sure. I think I try to do way too much all in one day which tires me out and the kids and overwhelms us all till we are cranky which never is good either. I am trying to take life a little more slowly and do a little less and just enjoy the moments. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me #sharewithme
    jenny recently posted…Interiors // Copper Home AccessoriesMy Profile

    1. I too always had an idea that I would do way more then was actually possible in a day. I think that over time we naturally learn how to work things best for ourselves. glad you liked the post and found it useful. Thanks for hosting the linky.

  7. These are great tips. I remember allowing myself to cry in the shower. It washed the tears away and a quick blast of cold water kept the puffiness away! Stay strong Mummy! Comment via #weekendbloghop

    1. Wow that is amazing. I remember that too. Showers are great places to cry and not be disturbed. Thanks for your comment Elena.

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