Be Yourself-The Self Worth Challenge

uakN0Z1441307631Welcome to the last instalment in The Self Worth Challenge where each week I have addressed a topic related to self worth.

Over the past weeks we I have covered many issues related to how to build our self worth from accepting our uniqueness, acknowledging and owning our strengths to considering the importance of our feelings. It has been a great pleasure to devote this time to such an important topic and been an absolute privilege to have so many of you following and working through the series.

If you are new to the challenge you might want to start at the beginning and work your way through the series. The very first post is linked here.

Last week in ‘Express yourself’ we explored expressing ourselves and how important it is. This week, as the last post, we are moving on to the importance of being yourself and developing the person you are.

When we value ourselves we are able to risk being the unique person we are. It is not always easy but it is so much better than the alternative. The alternative is to be what other people want from us, keeping our uniqueness small and unnoticeable. It can at times feel safer but in the long run it is exhausting and doesn’t give us what we need from our lives. This quote from Nelson Mandela sums it up for me in one sentence.

There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living

We build our sense of self over time by living our own life, experimenting, making mistakes and ultimately continuing the life long journey of learning about ourselves.

To really harness that process of growth and make it work for us, we need to discover our creativity.

When we value ourselves we are able to risk being the unique person we are Click To Tweet

Be Creative

In order to be ourselves we need to be creative with what we have. We are each unique and all of us bring something special to the world.

Some people are scared off by the word ‘creativity’. They don’t consider themselves creative because they associate it with being artistic. But all human beings are creative and it is not limited to writing or painting. Creativity is about bringing your unique self to the world in whatever way seems right to you.

When we allow ourselves this, then life opens up to us. We start to  harness our potential and use the skills we have to their full extent.

Harnessing your potential

There are a few simple ways that you can open yourself up to what is within you.

Stop living on auto pilot

Most of us live on autopilot much of the time. We do things the way we have always done them. We walk the route we have always walked, make the tea the way we always make it, sit in the same place to watch television and wear the same combinations of clothes and so on.

It is a funny thing but when we stop doing things the way we have always done them, just the little things in life, we begin to open up. Our mind is freed from running along the same tracks it always has and begins to see and think differently (much like it is for children who don’t have any set patterns and are always open to possibilities).

So start today by noticing those things you always do and change them a little. Sit in a different chair for breakfast, drive a different route to work, try something completely new and get noticing your life again.

Value your strengths

When you focus on what you have rather than on what you lack, you have power. This is a personal power to be who you are, knowing what is special about you.

If you have worked through the whole of the challenge then you will already have a list of your own strengths as you see them (Name Your Strengths) and some that other people see in you (Own Your Strengths). My recommendation is that you put your strengths list somewhere you can see it. Add to it as you discover more about yourself and just all round give your talents and abilities the value they deserve.

Attend to your self talk

We all have our bad days and our doubts. However when we can challenge those things we say to ourselves that diminish or limit us, then we stop holding ourselves back (Part 5).

Be open to your potential and opportunities

This is really about being open to what life has to offer. At times in our lives we cannot see ahead. When my boys were young I could not see beyond that stage. I knew what I wanted to do for myself but could not see a time when I would be able to do it because juggling everything I had was more than enough.

However when we know that we have innate value and potential we can learn to be open to the opportunities that come along. We can take advantage of small things that present themselves to help us develop our potential. It may be that your dream is to run your own business and it feels a long way off. But there may be many small opportunities along the way to learn skills that will be of use for when the opportunity arises.

The Self Worth Challenge Questions

Over the past weeks in the self worth challenge we have covered many topics and visited multiple times the importance of identifying our strengths/talents and abilities. But in life it is about more than just having the ability to do something. Having an ability does not mean that you should use it. What we are meant to do in life marks itself out more than anything else because it gives us energy and stirs something deeper within us. Take me as an example, I am a pretty good cook but I do not want to be a chef under any circumstances. Whilst I can make lovely food I don’t feel a passion for cooking. What I do feel a passion for is working with people to help them understand their own value in this world, hence being an integrative therapist and writer.

What we are meant to do in life, gives us energy and stirs something deeper within us Click To Tweet

Do you have a sense of your direction in life?

If you answered..


For those of you who are unsure of your direction there are some key questions you can ask yourselves.

What am I good at?
What interests me?
What gives me energy?

There are times when seeing our lives differently is challenging and perceiving a direction is not easy but by answering these questions you will be a step closer to knowing what you have a passion for in life. Write it down even if it seems unattainable. What your heart tells you is not something fixed in stone or a challenge that has to be lived up to but it has clues in it as to the right direction for you.

If you answered..


Some of you will already know where your talents lie and the process of building yourself worth will only help you unleash your energy into those things. If you fit this group then there are a few questions you can ask yourself to develop this further.

If I knew that what I have to give is of value, would I do any thing differently?
How do I hold myself back through fear?
Is there anything else I can do to work towards my goals?

Even when we know what we want we can find that we hold ourselves back from achieving it through fear. Fear of not being good enough, fear of failure, fear of success. By answering these questions you can identify anything that is limiting you. If you do, be kind to yourself. We all do it. Look at what the underlying fear is and then decide how to act.


This is now the end of The Self Worth Challenge. Thank you very much for reading and all your wonderful comments. I hope this series has been of use to you in a lasting way.

I do want to round off with a reminder that there is no one point at which someone has it all figured out or sorted. Life is a process of growth and development that at its best continues to the day we die. Best wishes. Kirsten

I would be love to know any aspect of this that you would like to share with me. I am aware that these journeys are often very personal, so if you would rather not it would still be great to know you are following along.  I will respond to all comments.

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59 thoughts on “Be Yourself-The Self Worth Challenge

  1. This is great advice for improving your self worth – I’m not very good at challenging those negative thoughts at times but it does make a difference when I do. I love the idea of breaking the little routines in order to see things in a different way – will be giving that one a try. Thank you for sharing 🙂
    Louise (Little Hearts, Big Love) recently posted…The Friday Focus 04/09/15My Profile

    1. Hi Louise. It really does make a difference. the challenge is to notice all those little repeat things you do because many are so unconscious. It has been great to have you along. Thanks for following The Summer Self Worth Challenge. Kirsten

  2. Great post Kirsten. I love the challenges you set. Some have tested me somewhat at times, but they’ve all had positive outcomes 🙂 Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky
    Emily recently posted…Binky LinkyMy Profile

    1. Hi Emily, That is wonderful to hear. The fact that you have felt challenges is good because it is a sign that you have pushed yourself out of your comfort zone with the questions, which is where growth lies. It has been great to have you along for the journey. Kirsten

    1. It is easier to think that failure is scary but success is too if it challenges our beliefs about ourselves. It is great that you can identify this fear in yourself. It is the harder of the two to see sometimes. Knowing about any fears gives you a distinct advantage so that when they are activated, you can see it and challenge its validity. Thanks very much Emma’s Mamma for following The Self Worth Challenge. It has been great to have you on board and hearing your experiences and feedback. Kirsten

    1. Hi Victoria. Thanks so much for following along. It sounds like it has been of use to you. I like your idea of turning it into a book at sometimes and will put that on my to do list. It has been great to hear from you each week. Kirsten

    1. I am glad you liked the post. It is really about finding your own reason for your life. We all have talents and abilities for a reason and something that inspires us. When we can connect to that then life is good, not always easy, but good. thanks for sharing and adding your comment to The Guilt Free Guide. Kirsten

  3. You really have found your talent, we are so lucky you share it with us. I know I am glad that you have shared this each week with me at #mummyandus. Can’t believe it’s the last one! I really needed this today, if you read my post you’ll see why. I am so grateful to you xx
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…Am I enough? #mummy & usMy Profile

    1. Hi Mackenzie. I look forward to reading your post. I know your title has already intrigued me and it is just the sort of thing that I love to read. I am so glad you liked the series. I have loved doing it certainly and your words of encouragement really mean a lot to me. Kirsten

    1. Hi Leanne. We all do much of the time and it is useful but when we want to open up to change then this is the best way to start. thanks for visiting The Guilt Free Guide. Kirsten

  4. What a lovely post. I didnt know about your series but I will go and have a look as its right up my street. Something that has helped me to grow this year is realising that the feelings of fear can easily be changed to excitement. Its just how you choose to see it. I’ve tried to turn those nerves into excitement and have enjoyed new challenges alot more. #mummymondays

    1. This is very insightful and you are so right. Some people interpret as something as excitement and others will interpret the same thing as fear. For those of us who interpret that out of control feeling on a roller coaster as fear (as I do) it doesn’t really matter. But where those feelings hold us back from doing what we want in life then it is worth having a look at them. It sounds like you have really grown this year as you have been prepared to face new challenges.
      It is great to have you visit The Guilt Free Guide. I would love to hear your experiences/feedback on the other posts in the series. The very first one is here . Thanks for you insightful comment. Kirsten

    1. Thank you Debbie. I really have loved hearing from you and appreciated your weekly support. It has been a wonderful thing to write about and engage with people over. Kirsten

    1. Hi Becky. Yes, just small differences open us up to ourselves and what we have within us. It has been great to have you along for this challenge. Your comments have been greatly appreciated. Kirsten

  5. Great Post! I am currently at a stand still with my life/career. I have a lot of good, quality skills and I know what I bring to the table but those skills are not good enough for potential employers. I will soon write a blog post about it but it’s also why I started my blog. Through my blog I am slowly figuring out my niche but I also need to figure out how to use it to start a new career as the old one is no more. Finding my niche in my career is one of the main things I have been struggling with since I resigned as Developmental Specialist in April. I like your questions and have written them down to try to remind myself of what I need to ask so that hopefully I can figure out my next career move. Thanks so much for sharing!
    Michelle recently posted…To be a Marine, or Not to Be.My Profile

    1. You are very wise Michelle to allow this process to happen. There are times when things become clear and times when we just need to be okay with the search, trusting in ourselves and life. Sometimes, certainly in my life and those close to me, it has seemed that when something hasn’t worked out it is because it is not the right thing anyway. Trust in you and let me know when you write that post.
      Thanks for following The Self worth Challenge over the past weeks. It has been great to hear from you and have you on this journey. Kirsten

    1. Thank you very much. I am glad you like the posts. It is a topic I love too. Thank you for your comments and input during this series. Kirsten

    1. I am glad the ideas worked for you Min. Breaking your routines is always a great place to start when looking for a new perspective. Thanks for commenting. It is appreciated. Kirsten

    1. Hi Zena, It is great to tap into our own personal creativity. It opens us up to new things and also posses the question ‘What else could I create?’ Thanks for reading and your support over the whole challenge. Kirsten

    1. What a great word ‘Alive’. I really agree with you here, that is what creativity does. We are bringing forth something from within ourselves and it gives us energy and makes us feel alive. Thank you for your kind words and leaving a comment Helena. It is appreciated. Kirsten

    1. I am pleased they have ben of use. It is worth just setting aside a bit of time to work on yourself. It pays dividends in the long run. Thanks for your support over the weeks of The Self Worth Challenge Eilidh. It is appreciated. Kirsten

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