Well the answer to the first question is obvious isn’t it?
But maybe not. When I asked this question to the women I interviewed for my book, the majority felt that it was once they had given birth, while for others it was on becoming pregnant. Either way, for all mothers, there is a point at which we feel like a mum. It normally comes hand-in-hand with the feeling of being responsible for another life; it is that moment when we understand that we are inextricably linked to our child. However, if we consider motherhood with all it entails then we can see that our whole lives have an impact on how we approach being a mother. Continue reading
It has been a bad week for sleep. I have had to be really mindful of being kind to myself because I know that I am tired. In those disturbed nights and even more in the lethargic days afterwards I have been reminded of how exhausted I was most of the time when my boys were younger.
But back then, with babies/toddlers there were times when I couldn’t recognise that I was tired, purely because I always was. My confidence in myself came under question because I never felt on top of anything. So I am dedicating this week to all you mothers with young children and the inevitable disturbed sleep. Continue reading
When we look at adult relationships we can see that they are a two way thing. They are about both parties rather than one. In a healthy adult relationship there is a give and take, which then leads to a building of mutual understanding and respect. But what about the relationship we have with our children?
This is a time of year when many of us are made particularly aware of the continual process of letting go of our children. As they grow and develop we have to let them do more and more themselves. Whilst this is always happening there are key times when it becomes increasingly apparent. These are the moments when they reach milestones in their lives, when they do things they have never done before like starting preschool or school or moving up a year. Continue reading
I am going to be really honest here. There were times, particularly when I had toddlers, when I felt such relief when I saw my other mums struggling with their kids.
Of course, I felt for them. It was not that I wanted other mums to suffer in any way but in that moment, I really felt a weight lift. In those times I knew, I mean really knew, that it was not just me that would struggle to peel my screaming child off the floor. Continue reading
The love for our children is like no other. It is a special and unique feeling that we can only have for our kids. It is unconditional. They can scream, keep us awake, be sick on us and draw on the walls but we still love them.
The love we feel is amazing but it comes with a huge amount of responsibility.
We are in charge. In some ways we can feel more vulnerable than ever before. We have these little people who are totally reliant on everything we do. And at the same time we are so emotionally reliant on them being okay too. Continue reading
One of my readers gave me the idea for this blog. She mentioned that she didn’t live up to her fantasy of what a mother is. That set me thinking about the ideas that we all carry round in our heads of what motherhood will be like and more importantly, what kind of mother we will be.
For me I was quite unsure of how I would be. I had not wanted children for most of my life until a very unexpected change of heart came upon me. Finding babies slightly scary I could not really imagine myself as a mum. Continue reading
Motherhood is not easy. It involves constant learning and change as we daily experience so many challenges and emotions. One of the best things we can do is to make sure that we have people we can share the experience with.
Family can be great at this time. Many mums feel a bond with their own mothers once they have had children. The shared experience brings a deeper connection and understanding.
However, there is something very special that we get from being able to share with other mums. They help us by… Continue reading
In Part 1, I explained the two types of guilt, healthy guilt and inappropriate guilt (let’s call it i-guilt) and explored the reasons why as mothers we experience it so much, particularly i-guilt.
Now in this part I am looking at how to effectively deal with it. Continue reading
So lets talk about guilt, after all this site is called ‘The Guilt Free Guide’.
I have explored guilt from many angles but lets hit it head on here. Continue reading