An alien from outer space who read our headlines and dipped into a lot of the literature on raising a child would be forgiven for thinking that good parenting is about fulfilling certain tasks in certain ways (be it breastfeeding, home-cooking) or mastering particular techniques. While there is nothing wrong with deciding what tasks are important and what techniques we might want to use with our children, the amount of attention placed on these things can easily lead us to forget that what is important is the underlying relationship that we have with our child. How we connect with our children, and they with us, is of prime importance, more so than any technique. We all know this, but it is good to remind ourselves of it every now and then. Continue reading
When we look at adult relationships we can see that they are a two way thing. They are about both parties rather than one. In a healthy adult relationship there is a give and take, which then leads to a building of mutual understanding and respect. But what about the relationship we have with our children?
I love straight forward abstract ideas. They have a great way of cutting through all the noise of life and condensing things to something clear and easy to remember.
There is one idea that came to me quite a while ago that I wish I had understood when I was a new mum with my first baby. It is this.
Motherhood is an art not a science.
Let me explain how it would have helped. Continue reading
We all want to be the perfect mother for our children, of course, because we love them. We do our absolute best. Sometimes we can feel happy about our efforts but sometimes it can be hard to feel that we are doing well enough.
It can be so easy to believe we are failing, particularly when we see other women who seem to be doing a better job than us. But what is this ideal that we feel we need to live up to? Continue reading
When things aren’t going as we expected with our little ones, it is so easy to think that we must be doing something wrong and in the search for answers, it can feel that there must be a right way to do it.
From the outside other parents might make it all look easy and leave us feeling that they have the answers and we don’t. Continue reading