When we look at adult relationships we can see that they are a two way thing. They are about both parties rather than one. In a healthy adult relationship there is a give and take, which then leads to a building of mutual understanding and respect. But what about the relationship we have with our children?
Our relationships with our children are slightly different in that we are the responsible party. They can’t be expected to give us what we need. They inadvertently do but it is not quite such a two-way enterprise. However, whilst the relationships with our children differs from those with other adults, there are some similarities.
We understand that in any functioning relationship both parties needs are of importance. Yet when it comes to motherhood it is all too easy to think that our needs are not significant. It becomes all about our child and their needs. But what is good for us is good for our children also. The required giving of raising a child needs to be balanced with seeing to our own needs. How we feel as mothers is hugely significant in our children’s lives as well as our own.What is good for us is good for our children also Click To Tweet
What those needs are varies massively from person-to-person. During the interviews for my book I found women who felt a need for mental stimulation that playing with their child could not afford them. I found women who missed the social aspect of work and those who missed the ability to exercise. There were those who felt very little desire to go out but instead needed time for themselves at home in the evening. There is no right and wrong. All that is important is that we, as mothers, find ways of seeing to enough of our own needs. Caring for ourselves is such an important part of raising a child. As in any relationship, how we feel communicates itself loud and clear whether we are actually talking about it or not. Seeing to our own feelings helps, not just us, but our children too.Caring for ourselves is such an important part of raising a child Click To Tweet
Of course, we all defer many things for our children but it is all about balance. As mothers our needs do count. What they are and how we see to them is a personal balancing act with our family situation and all the members in it.
How have you balanced caring for yourself and your family? Is it hard to feel that your needs are important as your children’s or are you comfortable with that idea? I would love to hear about your experiences. If you leave a comment below I will reply as soon as I can.
So what is next?
If you liked this article then you may also like:
- The Art Of Motherhood
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