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What makes a good mother?

~ Kirsten Toyne ~ 62 Comments

j7nit11467984225An alien from outer space who read our headlines and dipped into a lot of the literature on raising a child would be forgiven for thinking that good parenting is about fulfilling certain tasks in certain ways (be it breastfeeding, home-cooking) or mastering particular techniques. While there is nothing wrong with deciding what tasks are important and what techniques we might want to use with our children, the amount of attention placed on these things can easily lead us to forget that what is important is the underlying relationship that we have with our child. How we connect with our children, and they with us, is of prime importance, more so than any technique. We all know this, but it is good to remind ourselves of it every now and then. Continue reading →

Why it is great to see other parents struggling!

~ Kirsten Toyne ~ 134 Comments

q9p9xy1435730900I am going to be really honest here. There were times, particularly when I had toddlers, when I felt such relief when I saw my other mums struggling with their kids.

Of course, I felt for them. It was not that I wanted other mums to suffer in any way but in that moment, I really felt a weight lift. In those times I knew, I mean really knew, that it was not just me that would struggle to peel my screaming child off the floor. Continue reading →

The Perfect Mother?

~ Kirsten Toyne ~ 36 Comments

A5KT171433445967We all want to be the perfect mother for our children, of course, because we love them. We do our absolute best. Sometimes we can feel happy about our efforts but sometimes it can be hard to feel that we are doing well enough.

It can be so easy to believe we are failing, particularly when we see other women who seem to be doing a better job than us. But what is this ideal that we feel we need to live up to? Continue reading →