An alien from outer space who read our headlines and dipped into a lot of the literature on raising a child would be forgiven for thinking that good parenting is about fulfilling certain tasks in certain ways (be it breastfeeding, home-cooking) or mastering particular techniques. While there is nothing wrong with deciding what tasks are important and what techniques we might want to use with our children, the amount of attention placed on these things can easily lead us to forget that what is important is the underlying relationship that we have with our child. How we connect with our children, and they with us, is of prime importance, more so than any technique. We all know this, but it is good to remind ourselves of it every now and then. Continue reading
Finding ourselves pregnant is a momentous occasion. It is a time when we realise that our lives are going to change radically but we can’t know exactly how, particularly with our first child. Even when we planned our pregnancy, it can still take us by surprise. It is exciting to know that we will have a baby. Knowing that we will meet our own child in less than nine months time can be both wonderful and surreal. We have a hope and an investment in the future was not there before. Continue reading
Raising a child is an amazing thing to do, yet it is so easy to undervalue it at times.
As parents we know how important a role it is. We love our children so much and want the very best for them. But for many of us there can be those times when we lose touch with this fact. There are moments when the competing pressures of life get on top of us, maybe we are not achieving as much as we would like (or think we should) in the other realms of our lives because we are busy raising our children. Or we feel so stuck in the never ending tasks of family life that it feels we are not accomplishing much at all. It is these times that it is worth reminding ourselves how important being a parent is. Continue reading
The early days of having our first baby is an intense time. As a new mum we are experiencing an all new state of affairs. We have our babies to care for. Our bodies are recovering from childbirth. We have the twenty-four hour world of feeding and changing to adjust to and the all-new emotions that come with caring for an infant. Continue reading
Raising our children is so important to us. We love them and want to do the best we can for them. Yet as mothers we find ourselves contending with so many pressures. Right from pregnancy through to having our babies, we are met with a barrage of information on what to do and even how to feel. It can seem like there is an endless set of requirements to meet in order to be a good mother. If we were to attempt to adhere to all the things that we ‘should’ do with our babies, we would go mad or collapse trying. Continue reading
I love straight forward abstract ideas. They have a great way of cutting through all the noise of life and condensing things to something clear and easy to remember.
There is one idea that came to me quite a while ago that I wish I had understood when I was a new mum with my first baby. It is this.
Motherhood is an art not a science.
Let me explain how it would have helped. Continue reading
As human beings we tend to compare ourselves with others and assume that other people are more sorted, stable or capable than us. From the outside they look that way and we know ourselves from the inside with all our quirks, insecurities and concerns.
These are normal feelings which often become even stronger once we become mothers. As we strive to do the best we can for our children it is so easy to think that we are not doing well enough. Continue reading
Previously I have written about letting go of our children as they reach those milestones in their life. Whilst I did, it struck me that there is another aspect to letting go and it is one that I am in the full swing of at the moment. It is the gradual process of giving our children more and more freedom as they become increasingly capable individuals. Continue reading
This is a time of year when many of us are made particularly aware of the continual process of letting go of our children. As they grow and develop we have to let them do more and more themselves. Whilst this is always happening there are key times when it becomes increasingly apparent. These are the moments when they reach milestones in their lives, when they do things they have never done before like starting preschool or school or moving up a year. Continue reading
Over the past weeks we I have covered many issues related to how to build our self-worth from accepting our uniqueness, acknowledging and owning our strengths to considering the importance of our feelings. It has been a great pleasure to devote this time to such an important topic and been an absolute privilege to have so many of you following and working through the series.
If you are new to the challenge you might want to start at the beginning and work your way through the series. The very first post is linked here.
Last week in ‘Express yourself’ we explored expressing ourselves and how important it is. This week, as the last post, we are moving on to the importance of being yourself and developing the person you are.