Welcome back to The Self-Worth Challenge. Each week I am addressing a topic related to self-worth and I include a few questions at the end to help you consider how you value yourself and how to strengthen it further.
Although this will only take you five minutes or so, it will set you up to consider this aspect of your self over the coming week.
If you are new to the challenge you might want to start at the beginning and work your way through the series. The very first post is linked here.
Last week in ‘Name Your Strengths’ we looked at our strengths and how comfortable we are acknowledging them. This week we are moving on to the way you talk to yourself.
When we respect ourselves and see ourselves as valuable then we are automatically kind to ourselves. But what does it mean to be kind to ourselves?
Is it going to the spa on a regular basis or buying lots of clothes? Well these could be signs that you can be kind to yourself or they could be a sign of something else.
True self kindness starts with the way we talk to ourselves. Now I am not suggesting that we all go round chatting away to ourselves (although it has been known for me on occasion). What I am referring to is the conversation going on in our heads. It is sometimes referred to as our ‘Inner voice’ or ‘Self Talk’.True self kindness starts with the way we talk to ourselves Click To Tweet
Our constant stream of thoughts are often fairly invisible to us. The way we converse with ourselves is so familiar that it is easy not to notice the details of it. However, when we do look at what we are saying at any point in time, it can tell us so much.
For example, if you made a mistake, what do you say to yourself?
‘I can’t believe I did that, but it’s oaky we all do these things. Can I put it right?’
‘You shouldn’t have done that. I can’t believe it”
“Idiot. Everyone will think I’m stupid”
or something else.
What we say to ourselves on a regular basis has a big impact on our lives. A person who made a mistake and is calling themselves an idiot and a person who made a mistake and is reassuring themselves will come out of the event feeling significantly different to each other.What we say to ourselves on a regular basis has a huge impact in our lives Click To Tweet
As we learn to respect ourselves and speak to ourselves with kindness it frees us up to be the person we are and fulfil our potential.
The Self-Worth Challenge Questions
What do you say to yourself?. Is your self talk kind and respectful or is it harsh and demanding?
Think about your self talk. What is it like? Does that inner voice talk as if you are of worth and value?
Look out for demanding and critical words like ‘Should’, ‘Must’ and ‘Can’t‘. We can all be frustrated with ourselves at times. Acknowledging our limitations and failures is a good thing to do in life, blaming ourselves is not (See my Post on How To Overcome Self Balme).
Also notice those all encompassing words like ‘Never‘ or ‘Always‘.
‘I will never do well’
‘I always get things wrong’
These very rarely stand up to scrutiny.
As you continue to go through your week take note of your self talk. If it is not helpful and respectful then take a few seconds to stop and ask yourself these questions.
Is there another way of being kinder to myself and think of this more positively?
Would I say this to a friend?
Is there evidence for what I have said to myself?
For example, if you self talk was saying ‘You’re so stupid’ after you made a mistake then think about those questions. You certainly could be kinder, maybe thinking ‘I’m human, we all make mistakes’. You probably wouldn’t say it to a friend if they came to you explaining the situation and most likely the evidence would point to you doing your best at the time.
The next topic on The Self-Worth Challenge: Own Your Strengths
If you are excited by the prospect of this challenge please tell your friends. It is a great thing to do and be able to share with those who care for us.
I would be love to know any aspect of this that you would like to share with me. I am aware that these journeys are often very personal, so if you would rather not it would still be great to know you are following along. I will respond to all comments.
So what is next?
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