When things aren’t going as we expected with our little ones, it is so easy to think that we must be doing something wrong and in the search for answers, it can feel that there must be a right way to do it.
From the outside other parents might make it all look easy and leave us feeling that they have the answers and we don’t. A mum who struggles to get her baby interested in food, might see the mother of another baby who eats everything as having the answer. But in all likelihood, she just has a baby who eats well and has never had to face those difficulties.
The reality is that there is not one way to be a parent or one right answer. There are certainly things that we should not do. Anything that demeans or damages our children or ourselves is not okay. But apart from that, there are a so many ways to go about being a mother. And what works for one family will not necessarily be right for another. Not only are our children and babies different but we as mothers are different too.There is so many ways to go about being a good mother Click To Tweet
When we are searching for answers in a difficult time, it is worth bearing in mind that we are not searching for the right answer but just one that works for us. Sometimes there is an solution out there and sometimes it is just a phase that we work through.
Taking advice from as wide a range of sources as possible can be useful because it helps us remember that there are so many approaches to dealing with the complexities of raising a child. I remember being desperate with tiredness because one of my sons struggled to get off to sleep at night. I asked around and had very diverse and contradictory bits of information given to me. My first port of call was my health visitor who very confidently told me the ‘solution’. It was not one that I chose to follow because it was not right for me or my son. Other options came up and I adapted one that seemed the best fit for us. It wasn’t a complete fix but things improved.Motherhood at its best is a creative process. We work with what we have in our own unique way Click To Tweet
As a number of my mums told me, they learned over time to listen but ultimately make up their own mind and trust that their way was good enough. And as with any decisions, they are not final. If something we try doesn’t work then we can try something else. Motherhood, at its best, is a creative process. We take the materials we have and form them together on a daily basis in our own unique way. So, leave behind trying to find the ‘right way’ and carry on finding your own way.
Did you begin motherhood feeling that there was a right way to do things? Have you faced a situation where it felt that everyone else was getting it ‘right’ and you were not? I would love to know what has changed overtime in your approach to the challenges motherhood throws up.
So what is next?
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