Welcome to “The Self-Worth Challenge”.
How we feel about ourselves is a very big and worthwhile topic. I believe everyone has value to bring to this world. Through many years of working with people as a counsellor I have seen how taking time to develop our self-worth is incredibly beneficial.
For this reason over the next 7 weeks I will be writing a post on aspects of self-worth with activities you can use to explore and further develop your own sense of value.
Each post will comprise of some discussion and thoughts on the weeks topic followed by a few questions or an activity. These are designed to help you consider your own self-worth and take the next step to strengthening this all important aspect of your life.
Why Is It Good To Work On Valuing Ourselves?
The power of valuing ourselves and really knowing what we bring to the world should never be underestimated. When we truly acknowledge our strengths we approach life significantly differently to when we don’t.
Think highly of yourself because the world takes you at your own estimate.” Unknown Click To TweetAny improvement in our self-worth impacts our lives in so many ways, more than I could ever list, but here come a few.
It becomes easier to speak up for ourselves.
It helps us to value ourselves and others for our similarities and differences.
We can utilise our strengths fully and go for what we want in life.
We can bounce back from difficulties and criticism
Even when we do have a good sense of self-worth, exploring how we can continue to develop it and really own the talents we have, only empowers us more.
The Importance Of Valuing Ourselves As Parents
Once we are parents valuing ourselves as much as we can is so important. Our children learn from us and through us. They don’t just do what we say but they learn very fundamentally from how we are. Leading by example is the strongest statement a parent can ever make.
Tips and tricks to get our children to think well of themselves will help. We can give them information that we might never have received in childhood. But the strongest demonstration for our children is how we live our life and how we feel about ourselves.
Leading by example is the strongest statement a parent can ever make. Click To Tweet
It Surely Can’t Be Good To Think Highly Of Ourselves?
As a society there are some fears around this topic. There are fears that if we acknowledge those good things in ourselves then we could become arrogant.
There is a big difference between valuing ourselves and arrogance. Someone who is arrogant looks down on others from an inflated belief in themselves.
Valuing ourselves has nothing to do with comparisons. It is literally knowing who we are and valuing what we have to offer the world. We are all important. We are all worthwhile. We all have things to give to the world.
We are all worthwhile. We all have things to give to the world Click To Tweet
Get Started On The Self-Worth Challenge
So for this week here are a few questions for you to ask yourself.
You may find it helpful to jot down your ideas so that you can look back on them over the coming weeks.
Most importantly really be aware of your first thoughts after each question. Don’t filter out anything for an answer you find more acceptable. There is no right and wrong (or good or bad) when exploring your inner world.
Do you have any fears about having more self-worth?
Many of us have received messages in our childhood (most not done purposefully) that indirectly teach us a fear of valuing ourselves. We may have heard statements like …
Who do you think you are?!
Don’t get too big for your boots!
We don’t need your ideas, thank you very much!
Do what your told!
All of these statements tell us in one way or another to not be ourselves, to follow the rules and not count our feelings. The more we heard these things the more we will have internalised anxieties around being who we are. Of course, each family sends their own set of messages in their own unique way.
What messages did you receive about valuing yourself, your thoughts, feelings and opinions?
It is worth exploring any ideas we have been given about self worth. Some may have been useful and some may have been limiting, like the statements above. Where we have received limiting messages, we need to address them with our adult perspective, challenging their validity. When we do this we stop inadvertently holding ourselves back.
Also consider…
Where in your life do you value yourself and where don’t you?
This is a question for you to identify your particular situation. It may be that you have a lot of confidence at home but rarely speak up for yourself at work. It may be that you never put yourself first or speak up for yourself. Some people present an outward confidence but don’t feel it within. If you are unsure then just move on. Within the next weeks more will be revealed as you go through each topic.
How would things be different if you valued yourself more?
If you can begin to imagine how things will be different for you that is wonderful because using our imagination starts engaging our mind with how we would like things to be. This is when real change begins. Again , if this is a challenge, move on to next week and allow this process to unfold. We will come back to these points later on.
The next topic on The Self-Worth Challenge: Your Feelings Count
If you are excited by the prospect of this challenge please tell your friends. It is a great thing to do and be able to share with those who care for us.
These journeys are often very personal. I would, of course, love to know any aspect of your experience with this challenge that you would like to share with me. I always respond to all comments.
So what is next?
If you liked this article then you may also like:
- You Are Unique – The Self-Worth Challenge
- Why It Is Great To See Other Parents Struggling
- What Do You Do? I am A Mother
And finally, click on the button below to keep up to date with the latest articles and offers from The Guilt-Free Guide AND receive your FREE guided visualisation ‘Mother Moments’ especially designed to give you some time for you to focus on yourself.
My mummy needs to take a step back and value herself more. This looks like an interesting challenge, thanks for sharing your views x #PoCoLo
Baby Isabella recently posted…Summer at LUSH
It is a wonderful thing for your Mum to acknowledge. Learning is life long for all of us. Embracing that is great. Thanks for commenting.
This is great! I love learning about anything that deals with this topic! My own blog follows a similar theme. But I love what you have to say about self worth and motherhood…it definitely is a huge a challenge. I’m very impressed by what you are doing! #momsterslink
Hi Katie. Thank you for your supportive words. I am am glad that it is of interest to you. I will certainly visit your blog. Kirsten
I think it’s really important to value ourselves and I totally agree about leading by example, especially when you’re a parent. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky
Emily recently posted…Binky Linky
Hi Emily. You are right. Never again will we be so closely learnt from an imitated as with our children. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten
Excited and slightly freaked. Lots to think about! See you next week. #momsterslink
Mrs Tubbs recently posted…Things I’d Tell My Teenaged Self
Great. Excited and slightly freaked is a good place in terms of self growth. Feel free to ask me any questions you want particularly if you feel stuck. Kirsten
I’m not sure I’ve every had a real self worth issue but have seen the struggle that others have had with it and think it’s something worth writing and talking about. Good for you for taking this challenge on and I hope you can help a few people. #momsterslink
Thanks Rob. Valuing ourselves is so important and being able to acknowledge our strengths fully, takes us a long way in life. thanks for your comment. Have a great weekend.
So important to lead by example it’s how our children learn the right way to behave great post thanks for linking to the Binkylinky
Nige Higgins recently posted…Brilliant Dad Feature week 21
Hi Nige. It really is. Children are incredibly astute and learn very deeply from us. Thanks for your comment. Kirsten
What a great idea. Since visiting a health retreat a few weeks back, I am far more aware of me, my body and what I put into it – I think to me that is a start of valuing me and who I am. Thank you for linking to #PoCoLo x
Verily Victoria Vocalises recently posted…Our #SummerGoodTimes in Devon Thanks to Boots
Hi Victoria. That sounds great. Valuing ourselves in so important and I am glad it is a journey you are already on. It is an important journey and we can always learn and grow. thanks for your comment and fab linky. Kirsten
Very interesting post! When ever I enter a new surrounding feeling insecure or like I shouldn’t be there I repeat a little mantra: I am worthy of being here. It works every time! I’ll definitely be following these posts! #sundaystars
Emma’s Mamma recently posted…Cousins
Those are wise words to say to yourself. The way we think about things impacts everything we do. I am very excited that you will be following. I have many great angles to help you explore your self worth and deepen your understanding of yourself. Feel free to ask me any questions along the way. Great to have you on board. Kirsten
An interesting topic and one that we need to explore for ourselves and also for our children. We all hope that they grow up as well rounded, confident individuals. And they always say actions speak louder than words. #sundaystars
Jen @ 4,128 miles recently posted…GRIEF IS…
Hi Jen. I believe that we are all continuously learning and growing in understanding ourselves and valuing who we are. You are right actions do speak louder than words’ here. It is an exciting and scary thing to understand that we set the example for our kids. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten
I am so glad that this appeals to you. I am very excited about this series of posts. It will give me the opportunity to share at a deeper level than is possible in a single post. I know from years of experience that when we acknowledge the need to value ourselves more that we are already open to learning and growth. It sounds like you are in a good place to begin. Feel free to ask me any questions as you go along. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten
I firmly believe in being a strong, positive example for our children. We are their best teachers. It is so important to exude self worth.
Crystal Bissonnette recently posted…This Is Why I Blog: More Than Telling A Story
It really is Crystal. If we can show them that they have value by valuing ourselves it is a wonderful thing. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten
I feel as though the older I get, the more I love myself which in turn helps me build confidence in my children. I try to teach them that being a good person and loving who you are is more important then what others think of you. Thank you so much for linking up with #momsterslink.
Trista, Domesticated Momster recently posted…~Favorite Quote #11~
That is a wonderful thing to hear Trista. We learn as we go and having children teaches us so much not least the value of ourselves. Children who really to love themselves over and above what others think blessed. Thanks for sharing. Kirsten
This is something I definitely need to try, I really need to value myself more. I will be keeping up to date with these posts. Thanks so much for sharing #MummyMondays
The L’s Mum recently posted…Meal Plan – W/C 20th July
Taking a really important issue and making people take a long look at themselves in a positive way great post #mummymondays
Zoe dunn recently posted…Field Fun
Thank you Zoe, for your words of encouragement. I really appreciate it. It is an important issue and I am excited to use these posts over the summer to explore it more deeply. Kirsten
I love the concept if this. I agree that it has been drummed into us all that self belief is a bad thing. It can be hard to change this mentality. I think these exercises are going to be very interesting, thank you 🙂
Thank you for linking to #AnythingGoes
Debbie
http://www.myrandommusings.blogspot.com
Random Musings recently posted…Anything Goes Linky Week 6
Hi Debbie. i am really glad this struck a chord with you. I am excited about the posts over the summer. I think that as we examine the issues around self worth we more often than not naturally start adjusting our self perception. That is why it is so valuable. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten
Another great post. I like the point about getting the balance between liking yourself but not being arrogant. I think people confuse that a lot. It’s a fab idea and s important to pass on children xxx #mummymondays
Sarah Howe (runjumpscrap) recently posted…The One with The Chocolate Egg
Hi Sarah. I don’t know if it is a fear in British society or a general one but it is certainly there. Arrogance is something other than self worth. I am glad you liked the idea behind my series of posts. It is always an uncertain time when doing something new like this.
Lovely, important, and worthwhile words. Thanks for sharing.
Jennifer recently posted…Friday, it’s Friday!
Thank you Jennifer. I am glad you could see the value in it. Thanks for commenting.
I completely agree that children learn by the example their parents set. Having self-worth is such an important quality to teach our children. You can’t tell someone to have it, they have to find it themselves. Showing them everyday how their parents believe in themselves & value themselves is a great start. #mummy&us
Becky, Cuddle Fairy recently posted…Tips for Flying with Kids
You are spot on here Becky. No one can tell someone to have it. Self worth is an individual journey and we all have different starting places. Thanks for your insightful comment.
Great post Kirsten and a fab challenge that will help many. Tbh I’m so pleased to have already been through this particular journey, and to know what I’m worth. Because with three young and needy kids, there ain’t much time for little old me 😉
mummy tries recently posted…Why I’m Saying Goodbye to my Well Paid Part Time Job
Hi Renee. You are so right that it is a journey and as you know it is one well worth taking. It seems to me that life is about constant learning and growing. Thanks for your supportive words. They are appreciated. Kirsten
Great post. Really makes you think. I always try to be positive roll model for M, but sometimes I do think I need to be happier with myself. Thank you for bringing this important topic up 🙂 #mummymonday
Sophie @ Mum, M & More recently posted…Disney Princess Bath & Shower Bubbles; Review
I think it is a constant journey. Being a parent is wonderful in that it makes us want to be the best self that we can. I am glad you like the idea for my series. Thank you. Kirsten
Great post and reminder to be YOU! Love this summer challenge! Found you from Manic Monday link up!
Natasha recently posted…5 Tips to Survive the Adoption Wait
Hi Natasha. I am glad you liked it. Thank you for your supportive words. I do appreciate it. Kirsten
Great idea, Iso much ti be gained from joining it! #TwinklyTuesday
Claire recently posted…Summer Snail Mail Project
Hi Claire. Thank you for your support. It is appreciated. Kirsten
I watched my own mum growing up and knew that she didn’t value herself, she always put her self down as a woman and as a mum. She still does. It was hard growing up in that environment because I felt like I couldn’t value myself either. I thought to love myself was wrong. It wasn’t until I was old enough to understand that I didn’t have to live like that. I turned my life around and funnily enough she know considers me her role model. I had to learn to care for myself and realise I mattered and I love teaching that to my 3 children now. Thanks for such an amazing post and linking it with reflectionsfromme.com #mummy & us
Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…My Weekend Photo #pointshoot
Hi Mackenzie. Children really do know about their parents at some level. These words of your are so poignant ‘I thought to love myself was wrong.’. We learn very basic ways of being from our parents. I am glad you have managed to break away from that as see the value that you bring to the world as a person. It is so important and I agree, it is wonderful to know that we can teach our children things that we did not learn ourselves. thanks for sharing and your continued support. Kirsten
What a great idea, it’s not very British to believe in yourself, but we all should, it’s so important
Em @ snowingindoors recently posted…Lazy Saturday
It isn’t a very British thing is it! Stiff upper lip and be self deprecating. But I agree it is an important thing. If we can get hold of our talents and utilise them then everyone benefits. Thanks for your kind words and comment Em.
I think this is fantastic and wonderful of you to share with us all. I think self worth is definitely something many many people struggle with, although not all would admit I’m sure!
#twinklytuesday
Seychellesmama recently posted…Getting organised for baby 2
Thank you for your supportive words. My experience is that we can all benefit from having a look at what we feel about ourselves. Self development is not a one time journey, it is constant. As you will see in future weeks although I have done a lot of work on myself over the years, just in writing these posts and doing the work myself I have developed even further.
Great post – as mothers we can definitely do with learning to value ourselves more. And I do think it is very important to parent by example too. A great thing to be reminded of at the start of the holidays thank you!
Ali recently posted…Making time to exercise after having a baby
Thank you Ali. I am glad you found it helpful. Kirsten
I have never really valued myself, I was bullied at school and that dented my confidence and my parents were never one to push me confidence wise. My mum is a bit me me me which took away from celebrating me as her daughter. I am more confident since being a mum though although I still would say I am shy overall and lack confidence in many areas. Reading inspiring blogs has helped me massively though and this post has certainly made me think today. #sharewithme
Katy (What Katy Said) recently posted…Playing Games With the Family #giveaway
Hi Katy. It sounds like you have a good understanding of where your lack of confidence has come from. If you decide to work through the challenge then it will be worth listening out for those messages you received as a child. In many ways I called it a challenge because that is what we have to do, challenge those things we have been taught about ourselves so that we can see what is really within us. I am glad this post made you think. thanks for sharing. Kirsten
A very worthwhile challenge! I shall read your further posts with interest. #MMWBH
John Adams recently posted…Banishing your beer belly for good
Thank you John. I would love to know how you find them. Kirsten
Such an important topic and one that we moms don’t always consider enough. Thanks for linking up at the Manic Mondays blog hop!
Meredith@MommyAtoZ recently posted…W is for… Wednesday Weird Parenting News
Thank you Meredith. Your comment is appreciated. Kirsten
Having teenage girls I can really see now how important it is to be teaching them self worth, through my own actions. Can’t wait to read the rest of these posts. Thanks for linking up with #sundaystars
Katie recently posted…Summer Days Linky ~ Raspberries
Children are great at teaching us what is important in life. Watching them grow and develop shows us so much about what matters. Glad you are following along. You might find some things you can get your girls to do. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten
This really was an interesting read and an interesting topic. I think it is very important to value ourselves.
Great post. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. Hope too see you this Sunday at #justanotherlinky
Beth recently posted…A Summer Walk
Thank you Beth. It is such an important thing that I thought the summer was a good time to address it. Kirsten
This is really interesting…definitely something to think about and I agree, so important when sending messages to our children. I will reflect on these tonight and I look forward to your next instalment. Thanks for sharing this challenge…
Found you on #twinklytuesday
Lucy at occupation:(m)other recently posted…Allergic to ‘E’
Hi Lucy. I am glad you feel this will help you reflect. It is so important. My next instalment is already out and explores the value and importance of accepting our feelings, all of them. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten
These are such important reminders. I think there’s an especial challenge for women, in our role as nurturers, to be able to value ourselves. I think the important thing to remember is that valuing ourselves doesn’t equate to putting others down. It’s not a competition. This post comes at a pivotal time for me. While I know that my immediate team and my boss value me, it’s been a fight to maintain my sense of professional self-worth in light of things going on in the larger organization. Also, my ex-husband is going through a third divorce in three years and blames me – and so is actively trying to undercut my sense of confidence in my parenting. It takes a lot of work to maintain confidence in that environment, and I appreciate the reminder to do the work.
Thanks for linking with #TwinklyTuesday.
Sadia recently posted…Quintessential Twin Pictures
Hi Sadia, You point about the role of women in the nurturing role is very insightful. In this role it is so tough to get the balance right. It sounds like you have a lot going on and many challenges for your to emotionally value yourself. Keep on knowing that you have value and are important just as you are. We can all learn from constructive criticism but don’t need to take on board people who are attacking us or devaluing us. Thanks for sharing your experiences and leaving this wonderful comment. Kirsten
Wow that’s a fantastic challenge to set yourself. Good luck hunny and remember to be You. Thanks for linking up to Share With Me. Hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme
jenny recently posted…Salted Oreo Cookie Bars Recipe
Hi Jenny, Thank you for your kind words. I am glad you like the concept. Kirsten
This is a brilliant series, we really need to value ourselves and celebrate our strengths more. I beleive this will have a profound impact on out well being, and you’ve given me lots to think about
Hi Zena. I am glad that there was things in this that you can reflect on. I find that no matter where we are in our life’s journey we can always reflect on aspects of ourselves and learn something of value. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten