The Self-Worth Challenge

Vpm2ed1442515317Welcome to “The Self-Worth Challenge”.

How we feel about ourselves is a very big and worthwhile topic. I believe everyone has value to bring to this world. Through many years of working with people as a counsellor I have seen how taking time to develop our self-worth is incredibly beneficial.

For this reason over the next 7 weeks I will be writing a post on aspects of self-worth with activities you can use to explore and further develop your own sense of value.

Each post will comprise of some discussion and thoughts on the weeks topic followed by a few questions or an activity. These are designed to help you consider your own self-worth and take the next step to strengthening this all important aspect of your life.


 Why Is It Good To Work On Valuing Ourselves?

The power of valuing ourselves and really knowing what we bring to the world should never be underestimated. When we truly acknowledge our strengths we approach life significantly differently to when we don’t.

Think highly of yourself because the world takes you at your own estimate.” Unknown Click To Tweet

Any improvement in our self-worth impacts our lives in so many ways, more than I could ever list, but here come a few.

It becomes easier to speak up for ourselves.

It helps us to value ourselves and others for our similarities and differences.

We can utilise our strengths fully and go for what we want in life.

We can bounce back from difficulties and criticism

Even when we do have a good sense of self-worth, exploring how we can continue to develop it and really own the talents we have, only empowers us more.


The Importance Of Valuing Ourselves As Parents

lQDqY71437077086Once we are parents valuing ourselves as much as we can is so important. Our children learn from us and through us. They don’t just do what we say but they learn very fundamentally from how we are. Leading by example is the strongest statement a parent can ever make.

Tips and tricks to get our children to think well of themselves will help. We can give them information that we might never have received in childhood. But the strongest demonstration for our children is how we live our life and how we feel about ourselves.

Leading by example is the strongest statement a parent can ever make. Click To Tweet


It Surely Can’t Be Good To Think Highly Of Ourselves?

As a society there are some fears around this topic. There are fears that if we acknowledge those good things in ourselves then we could become arrogant.

There is a big difference between valuing ourselves and arrogance. Someone who is arrogant looks down on others from an inflated belief in themselves.

Valuing ourselves has nothing to do with comparisons. It is literally knowing who we are and valuing what we have to offer the world. We are all important. We are all worthwhile. We all have things to give to the world.

We are all worthwhile. We all have things to give to the world Click To Tweet


Get Started On The Self-Worth Challenge

So for this week here are a few questions for you to ask yourself.

You may find it helpful to jot down your ideas so that you can look back on them over the coming weeks.

Most importantly really be aware of your first thoughts after each question. Don’t filter out anything for an answer you find more acceptable. There is no right and wrong (or good or bad) when exploring your inner world.

Do you have any fears about having more self-worth?

Many of us have received messages in our childhood (most not done purposefully) that indirectly teach us a fear of valuing ourselves. We may have heard statements like …

Who do you think you are?!

Don’t get too big for your boots!

We don’t need your ideas, thank you very much!

Do what your told!

All of these statements tell us in one way or another to not be ourselves, to follow the rules and not count our feelings. The more we heard these things the more we will have internalised anxieties around being who we are. Of course, each family sends their own set of messages in their own unique way.

What messages did you receive about valuing yourself, your thoughts, feelings and opinions?

It is worth exploring any ideas we have been given about self worth. Some may have been useful and some may have been limiting, like the statements above. Where we have received limiting messages, we need to address them with our adult perspective, challenging their validity. When we do this we stop inadvertently holding ourselves back.

Also consider…

Where in your life do you value yourself and where don’t you?

This is a question for you to identify your particular situation. It may be that you have a lot of confidence at home but rarely speak up for yourself at work. It may be that you never put yourself first or speak up for yourself. Some people present an outward confidence but don’t feel it within. If you are unsure then just move on. Within the next weeks more will be revealed as you go through each topic.

How would things be different if you valued yourself more?

If you can begin to imagine how things will be different for you that is wonderful because using our imagination starts engaging our mind with how we would like things to be. This is when real change begins. Again , if this is a challenge, move on to next week and allow this process to unfold. We will come back to these points later on.

The next topic on The Self-Worth Challenge: Your Feelings Count

If you are excited by the prospect of this challenge please tell your friends. It is a great thing to do and be able to share with those who care for us.

These journeys are often very personal. I would, of course, love to know any aspect of your experience with this challenge that you would like to share with me. I always respond to all comments.

So what is next?

If you liked this article then you may also like:

And finally, click on the button below to keep up to date with the latest articles and offers from The Guilt-Free Guide AND receive your FREE guided visualisation ‘Mother Moments’ especially designed to give you some time for you to focus on yourself.


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68 thoughts on “The Self-Worth Challenge

    1. It is a wonderful thing for your Mum to acknowledge. Learning is life long for all of us. Embracing that is great. Thanks for commenting.

  1. This is great! I love learning about anything that deals with this topic! My own blog follows a similar theme. But I love what you have to say about self worth and motherhood…it definitely is a huge a challenge. I’m very impressed by what you are doing! #momsterslink

    1. Hi Katie. Thank you for your supportive words. I am am glad that it is of interest to you. I will certainly visit your blog. Kirsten

  2. I think it’s really important to value ourselves and I totally agree about leading by example, especially when you’re a parent. Thanks for linking up to the #BinkyLinky
    Emily recently posted…Binky LinkyMy Profile

    1. Hi Emily. You are right. Never again will we be so closely learnt from an imitated as with our children. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

    1. Great. Excited and slightly freaked is a good place in terms of self growth. Feel free to ask me any questions you want particularly if you feel stuck. Kirsten

  3. I’m not sure I’ve every had a real self worth issue but have seen the struggle that others have had with it and think it’s something worth writing and talking about. Good for you for taking this challenge on and I hope you can help a few people. #momsterslink

    1. Thanks Rob. Valuing ourselves is so important and being able to acknowledge our strengths fully, takes us a long way in life. thanks for your comment. Have a great weekend.

    1. Hi Nige. It really is. Children are incredibly astute and learn very deeply from us. Thanks for your comment. Kirsten

    1. Hi Victoria. That sounds great. Valuing ourselves in so important and I am glad it is a journey you are already on. It is an important journey and we can always learn and grow. thanks for your comment and fab linky. Kirsten

  4. Very interesting post! When ever I enter a new surrounding feeling insecure or like I shouldn’t be there I repeat a little mantra: I am worthy of being here. It works every time! I’ll definitely be following these posts! #sundaystars
    Emma’s Mamma recently posted…CousinsMy Profile

    1. Those are wise words to say to yourself. The way we think about things impacts everything we do. I am very excited that you will be following. I have many great angles to help you explore your self worth and deepen your understanding of yourself. Feel free to ask me any questions along the way. Great to have you on board. Kirsten

  5. An interesting topic and one that we need to explore for ourselves and also for our children. We all hope that they grow up as well rounded, confident individuals. And they always say actions speak louder than words. #sundaystars
    Jen @ 4,128 miles recently posted…GRIEF IS…My Profile

    1. Hi Jen. I believe that we are all continuously learning and growing in understanding ourselves and valuing who we are. You are right actions do speak louder than words’ here. It is an exciting and scary thing to understand that we set the example for our kids. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

      1. I am so glad that this appeals to you. I am very excited about this series of posts. It will give me the opportunity to share at a deeper level than is possible in a single post. I know from years of experience that when we acknowledge the need to value ourselves more that we are already open to learning and growth. It sounds like you are in a good place to begin. Feel free to ask me any questions as you go along. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

    1. It really is Crystal. If we can show them that they have value by valuing ourselves it is a wonderful thing. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

  6. I feel as though the older I get, the more I love myself which in turn helps me build confidence in my children. I try to teach them that being a good person and loving who you are is more important then what others think of you. Thank you so much for linking up with #momsterslink.
    Trista, Domesticated Momster recently posted…~Favorite Quote #11~My Profile

    1. That is a wonderful thing to hear Trista. We learn as we go and having children teaches us so much not least the value of ourselves. Children who really to love themselves over and above what others think blessed. Thanks for sharing. Kirsten

    1. Thank you Zoe, for your words of encouragement. I really appreciate it. It is an important issue and I am excited to use these posts over the summer to explore it more deeply. Kirsten

    1. Hi Debbie. i am really glad this struck a chord with you. I am excited about the posts over the summer. I think that as we examine the issues around self worth we more often than not naturally start adjusting our self perception. That is why it is so valuable. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

    1. Hi Sarah. I don’t know if it is a fear in British society or a general one but it is certainly there. Arrogance is something other than self worth. I am glad you liked the idea behind my series of posts. It is always an uncertain time when doing something new like this.

  7. I completely agree that children learn by the example their parents set. Having self-worth is such an important quality to teach our children. You can’t tell someone to have it, they have to find it themselves. Showing them everyday how their parents believe in themselves & value themselves is a great start. #mummy&us
    Becky, Cuddle Fairy recently posted…Tips for Flying with KidsMy Profile

    1. You are spot on here Becky. No one can tell someone to have it. Self worth is an individual journey and we all have different starting places. Thanks for your insightful comment.

    1. Hi Renee. You are so right that it is a journey and as you know it is one well worth taking. It seems to me that life is about constant learning and growing. Thanks for your supportive words. They are appreciated. Kirsten

    1. I think it is a constant journey. Being a parent is wonderful in that it makes us want to be the best self that we can. I am glad you like the idea for my series. Thank you. Kirsten

  8. I watched my own mum growing up and knew that she didn’t value herself, she always put her self down as a woman and as a mum. She still does. It was hard growing up in that environment because I felt like I couldn’t value myself either. I thought to love myself was wrong. It wasn’t until I was old enough to understand that I didn’t have to live like that. I turned my life around and funnily enough she know considers me her role model. I had to learn to care for myself and realise I mattered and I love teaching that to my 3 children now. Thanks for such an amazing post and linking it with #mummy & us
    Mackenzie Glanville recently posted…My Weekend Photo #pointshootMy Profile

    1. Hi Mackenzie. Children really do know about their parents at some level. These words of your are so poignant ‘I thought to love myself was wrong.’. We learn very basic ways of being from our parents. I am glad you have managed to break away from that as see the value that you bring to the world as a person. It is so important and I agree, it is wonderful to know that we can teach our children things that we did not learn ourselves. thanks for sharing and your continued support. Kirsten

    1. It isn’t a very British thing is it! Stiff upper lip and be self deprecating. But I agree it is an important thing. If we can get hold of our talents and utilise them then everyone benefits. Thanks for your kind words and comment Em.

    1. Thank you for your supportive words. My experience is that we can all benefit from having a look at what we feel about ourselves. Self development is not a one time journey, it is constant. As you will see in future weeks although I have done a lot of work on myself over the years, just in writing these posts and doing the work myself I have developed even further.

  9. I have never really valued myself, I was bullied at school and that dented my confidence and my parents were never one to push me confidence wise. My mum is a bit me me me which took away from celebrating me as her daughter. I am more confident since being a mum though although I still would say I am shy overall and lack confidence in many areas. Reading inspiring blogs has helped me massively though and this post has certainly made me think today. #sharewithme
    Katy (What Katy Said) recently posted…Playing Games With the Family #giveawayMy Profile

    1. Hi Katy. It sounds like you have a good understanding of where your lack of confidence has come from. If you decide to work through the challenge then it will be worth listening out for those messages you received as a child. In many ways I called it a challenge because that is what we have to do, challenge those things we have been taught about ourselves so that we can see what is really within us. I am glad this post made you think. thanks for sharing. Kirsten

    1. Children are great at teaching us what is important in life. Watching them grow and develop shows us so much about what matters. Glad you are following along. You might find some things you can get your girls to do. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

  10. This really was an interesting read and an interesting topic. I think it is very important to value ourselves.

    Great post. Thanks so much for sharing it with us. Hope too see you this Sunday at #justanotherlinky
    Beth recently posted…A Summer WalkMy Profile

    1. Thank you Beth. It is such an important thing that I thought the summer was a good time to address it. Kirsten

  11. This is really interesting…definitely something to think about and I agree, so important when sending messages to our children. I will reflect on these tonight and I look forward to your next instalment. Thanks for sharing this challenge…
    Found you on #twinklytuesday
    Lucy at occupation:(m)other recently posted…Allergic to ‘E’My Profile

    1. Hi Lucy. I am glad you feel this will help you reflect. It is so important. My next instalment is already out and explores the value and importance of accepting our feelings, all of them. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

  12. These are such important reminders. I think there’s an especial challenge for women, in our role as nurturers, to be able to value ourselves. I think the important thing to remember is that valuing ourselves doesn’t equate to putting others down. It’s not a competition. This post comes at a pivotal time for me. While I know that my immediate team and my boss value me, it’s been a fight to maintain my sense of professional self-worth in light of things going on in the larger organization. Also, my ex-husband is going through a third divorce in three years and blames me – and so is actively trying to undercut my sense of confidence in my parenting. It takes a lot of work to maintain confidence in that environment, and I appreciate the reminder to do the work.

    Thanks for linking with #TwinklyTuesday.
    Sadia recently posted…Quintessential Twin PicturesMy Profile

    1. Hi Sadia, You point about the role of women in the nurturing role is very insightful. In this role it is so tough to get the balance right. It sounds like you have a lot going on and many challenges for your to emotionally value yourself. Keep on knowing that you have value and are important just as you are. We can all learn from constructive criticism but don’t need to take on board people who are attacking us or devaluing us. Thanks for sharing your experiences and leaving this wonderful comment. Kirsten

  13. This is a brilliant series, we really need to value ourselves and celebrate our strengths more. I beleive this will have a profound impact on out well being, and you’ve given me lots to think about

    1. Hi Zena. I am glad that there was things in this that you can reflect on. I find that no matter where we are in our life’s journey we can always reflect on aspects of ourselves and learn something of value. Thanks for commenting. Kirsten

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