Welcome back to The Self-Worth Challenge. Each week I am addressing a topic related to self-worth and I include a few questions at the end to help you consider how you value yourself and how to strengthen it further.
Although this will only take you five minutes or so, it will set you up to consider this aspect of your self over the coming week.
If you are new to the challenge you might want to start at the beginning and work your way through the series. The very first post is linked here.
Last week in ‘Your Feelings Count‘ we explored the importance of valuing our feelings and you looked at the what we might have been taught to deny. This week we are moving on to your uniqueness.
There is no one like you in the world. You have your own talents and abilities.
Now, of course, you have heard this before. We all know it logically but it is so easy to diminish the truth of this statement. So many of us do not allow ourselves to feel it or even think it.
There are so many things that we do that limit our ability to acknowledge our own strengths.
How We Limit Ourselves
We Take Our Strengths For Granted
We often take for granted the things that come naturally to us because they have always been there. It is so easy to not see our talents or if we do know them, we tend to think of them as nothing at all. However, when we really acknowledge what is special about us then we can properly begin to utilise what we have and harness our power.
We Diminish Our Talents Through Comparison
Of course, when we look to the outside world to get some clarity on our personal value more often than not we can see other people around us who appear to possess the same or better talents than we do. This can then make is dismiss the talents we have.
Valuing ourselves is not about comparisons, however. Comparisons have their place. We can learn from others and we can also learn about ourselves through them. But it is important that we acknowledge our own strengths and talents with out diminishing them just because we see others that have something similar.Acknowledge your own strengths without diminishing them because you can see them in someone else Click To Tweet
The truth is we cannot actually be compared to anyone else. We are all different and bring something unique to the world.
Take me as an example. When I look around I can see plenty of other writers who are amazing. I also see other Counsellors and Hypnotherapists that deeply impress me. I can see people who are gentle and thoughtful too. All skills and qualities I posses. Whilst I have plenty I can learn from these people, they are not me. Their skills do not diminish my own. I have unique qualities (even if there are times when I look at others and it doesn’t feel that way).
We Can’t See Where Our Strengths Will lead Us
The well known quote from Steve Jobs
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future.
reminds me that the dots in our lives (which I think of as peoples strengths and knowledge from their own life experiences) all add up to something very different for each person and none of us know exactly what that will be.
Even when we have plans, they may not work out the way we thought but there will always be something else. As human beings we are amazing. We constantly grow and adapt.
We Confuse Valuing Ourselves With Achievement
Sometimes we seek value through particular achievements.
‘I will feel good about myself when…’
I have lost weight, won an award, run a marathon, proved myself etc etc.
Whilst having goals in life is a great thing, we don’t want to hand the power for valuing ourselves to some external event or achievement. We are all unique and what is important about us is already within us right now. Not in six months time when we pass an exam or when we have done something we consider makes us worthwhile.'What is interesting about you, is you' Alonzo King Click To Tweet
‘I Need To Be The Best To Be Important’
In a similar vain to the above, some people tie their self worth to achieving the elusive state of being THE BEST. Our society lords the people who are ‘The Best’ and so we imagine that being top at something will give us that feeling of value. It may do temporally but the feeling of self-worth only lasts if it is within us.
Again, it is fine to have goals but not to make your self-worth tied into achieving them. An athlete who wins a race is of no less personal value than one who comes second or last. In fact, there is no race without the athletes who come second, third, fourth, fifth and so on.
For most walks of life there is no clear cut best, anyway. Ideas of the ‘best’ changes constantly and quite frankly there are not awards for the majority of what is important in life and neither should there be. We have intrinsic value as we are.We have intrinsic value as we are. Click To Tweet
The Self-Worth Challenge Questions
Take a moment to stop and think about what you have within you that has allowed you to live your life till now. Here I am talking about more than your achievements but your life experience, the things you have learnt, your innate talents, skills and temperament.
Look around at all the people you see in your daily life. See their uniqueness and allow it to help you fully acknowledge your own.
Does it feel comfortable to acknowledge yourself as unique or is it difficult?
If it is uncomfortable really start to question that belief in yourself over the next week. As you go through your days continue to notice the individuality of others and then your own. Notice what you bring to the world and how it is different from anyone else. If you find yourself diminishing those things you notice or dismissing them, then gently stop yourself. The more you can acknowledge your self the more you can give to the world. We will build on this next week.There is no one like you in the world. You have your own talents and abilities Click To Tweet
If it is okay to acknowledge that you are unique then be pleased with yourself. To take this a little further over the next week take some time on a daily basis to imagine your future self with all the power to utilise your unique skills and talents. When anyone begins to imagine the things that they want in life, like their most powerful self, then they are explaining to their subconscious mind what they want from their lives.
Imagine your future self and consider these questions.
What is your future self doing?
Does your future self do things differently to you?
Is there any difference in how your future self presents themselves (hair, clothes, posture)?
What does your future self think about herself/himself?
If you are not used to imagining yourself in this way it can feel strange, however, it is really of great value. The more you do it the easier it will become and the image of what you can achieve will become clearer.
The next topic on The Self-Worth Challenge: Name Your Strengths
If you are excited by the prospect of this challenge please tell your friends. It is a great thing to do and be able to share with those who care for us.
I would be love to know any aspect of this that you would like to share with me. I am aware that these journeys are often very personal, so if you would rather not it would still be great to know you are following along. I will respond to all comments.
So what is next?
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